'Live' tweeting historical witch trials. Modern English, period sources.

An ex-witch called Deliverance Hobbs is now bewitched because she confessed. The spectral form of another witch keeps appearing and beating her with iron rods as punishment. [...]

A witch had an inch-long teat on her belly. She claimed it was a hernia, but it looked recently-sucked, with a hole at the tip. When it was squeezed, "white milky matter" came out. She also had three smaller teats on her genitals. A girl claimed that Rose Cullender, the witch with the milky teat on her belly and three extra teats on her vulva, had been coming to her bed at night, one time bringing a huge dog with her. [...]

A child caught an invisible mouse and threw it into the fire where it exploded with a flash like gunpowder. No one but the child saw a mouse, but everyone saw the flash. [...]

A bee flew into a child's face. The child vomited up a large iron nail. The child later confirmed that the bee had been carrying the nail and had "forced it into her mouth". [...]

The child got sick. One night a strange toad fell out of her blanket and ran along the hearth. A boy picked it up with tongs and held it in the fire, where it exploded like a gunshot. The child had been very sick, but after the magic toad exploded in the fire she completely recovered. [...]

The boy told the Devil he would commit to a life of deceit if the Devil would grant him one strange superpower: the boy asked for his saliva to be given the power to scald dogs as though it were boiling water. The Devil granted the boy his wish (to "make his spittle scald a dog"). The boy spat on a dog and a large amount of scalding hot water poured all over it. The possessed boy admitted to having spat a torrent of boiling water onto the dog. His honesty and remorse caused the Devil to leave his body with a terrifyingly loud noise. [...]

A witch riding a goat was able to carry 15 or 16 children in one trip by taking a long wooden pole, sticking one end into the goat's anus and seating the children all along the length of the pole. [...]

Asked where precisely on her body the Devil sucked her blood, the witch said the Devil sucked at a location he had chosen himself, just slightly above her anus. Because of the Devil's constant sucking at that spot, there is now a teat-like growth on the witch's body, near her anus. Elizabeth asked the Devil why he sucked her blood from the teat just above her anus. He said that it nourished him. [...]

A witch's blood is infected with a "poisonous ferment". If a witch gives you a hard glare while thinking spiteful thoughts, pestilential spirits will shoot out of her eyes and infect you. Nature works by "subtle streams" of "minute particles". An example would be the jets of pestilence which shoot out of witch's eyes via by means of their malicious imagination and cause "dangerous and strange alterations" in those weak enough to be affected. The contagious witch-curse can be airborne - spread into the air by a witch's glaring eyes. The pestilence can also be transmitted in other more obvious ways such as the victim being hit by a witch or being given a poisoned apple. [...]

Some say, why would the Devil waste his time running errands for a "silly old woman"? But if the Devil is wicked then he probably also uses his time unwisely. When we hear about the crazy behaviour of spirits and familiars, some people ask why the devil would frolic so ludicrously. Perhaps witches are only visited by spirits or demons who are very junior, low ranking or disgraced. [...]

The idea that witches can change their bodies into animals is no harder to believe than the idea that the thoughts or imagination of a pregnant woman can cause her foetus to have real and monstrous birth defects, which is of course a widely credited fact.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Wed Jan 20 22:31:20 2021 Tags:
I sincerely hope that today's regime change can mark a return to my blog's core competency: fart jokes and tentacles.
Posted Wed Jan 20 20:52:28 2021 Tags:
The Great Wikipedia Titty Scandal: This is the story of a Wikipedia administrator gone mad with 80,000 boob pages.

Digging into Neelix's history, however, his fellow administrators couldn't believe what they found. He hadn't just created a handful of redirects, as the original report described; he'd quietly created thousands upon thousands of new redirects, each one a chaotic, if not offensive, permutation of the word "tits" and "boobs." For example, he created redirects for "tittypumper," "tittypumpers," "tit pump," "pump titties," "pumping boobies" and hundreds more for "breast pump." In fact, for seemingly every Wikipedia article related to breasts, he did something similar. [...]

"I especially don't see the value of creating pages with titles like 'titty banged,' 'frenchfucking,' 'licks boobs,' 'boobyfeeding,' 'a trip down mammary lane' and so on. Wikipedia is not censored, but we're also not Urban Dictionary," added Ivanvector. [...]

"I've just gone through all 80,000 page creations, and he was creating nonsense like 'anti-trousers' years ago," added Iridescent. "This isn't anything new, it's just the first time it's come to light."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Wed Jan 20 19:24:23 2021 Tags:

People in England who went home after hospitalization for Covid-19 were not out of the woods. 1/3 of them were back in the hospital within 5 months. 1/8 of them died within that time.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

The cheater's effort to get the 2020 Census to omit unauthorized immigrants has failed.

He also tried intimidate them (by threatening to deport them) so that they would not respond to the census. I don't know to what extent that may have succeeded.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

China's economy grew in 2020, while most other countries' declined. It's clear this is because China took the necessary actions to quash Covid-19.

I wonder what happened economically to Australia, New Zealand, and Taiwan, which also quashed Covid-19 effectively. It is possible that they had economic declines because of loss of tourism or trade with other countries that did not respond effectively.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

The EU is failing to effectively protect seas from being over-fished and destroyed.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

Israel as occupying power has a treaty obligation to provide medical care to the occupied population as to its own. Instead, Israel is denying Covid-19 vaccine to Palestinians.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

*UK trained military of 15 countries with poor human rights records.*

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:
Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:
Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

*Vaccine Site Uses Credit History to Verify Patients’ Identities.*

This gives information about the vaccination to the credit reporter. It is wrong to spread people's personal data that way.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:

*California households owe $1bn in water bills as affordability crisis worsens.*

A moratorium on shutoffs, evictions and foreclosures is not enough, because it only defers the day of disaster. The government must rescue people whom Covid-19 has pushed into debt.

Posted Wed Jan 20 00:00:00 2021 Tags:
By my extremely scientific survey, 10% of all music videos made in 2020 have used the following filter. Stop. It is not charming like an 808 handclap. It is irritating like an airhorn sample. I don't know which video-editing software came with this as one of the stock old-timey presets, but FFS, stop using it.

Bonus points here for the unnecessarily burned-in pillarboxing.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Tue Jan 19 17:40:52 2021 Tags:
Your account has been disabled. You can't use Facebook because your account, or activity on it, doesn't follow our Community Standards.

Note that my Facebook account has zero friends, zero posts, zero photos, and has made zero comments in the last 4+ years. It only still exists so that I can admin our business pages.

Upload a photo of yourself. Upload a photo that clearly shows your face. Make sure the photo is well-lit and isn't blurry.
We have received your information. Thank you for sending your information. We have fewer people available to review information due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. This means we may be unable to review your account. We apologize for any inconvenience.

"We may be unable to review your account. We apologize for any inconvenience "

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Mon Jan 18 16:32:53 2021 Tags:
So many people have died in Los Angeles County that officials have suspended air-quality regulations that limit the number of cremations.

Health officials and the L.A. County coroner requested the change because the current death rate is "more than double that of pre-pandemic years, leading to hospitals, funeral homes and crematoriums exceeding capacity, without the ability to process the backlog," the South Coast Air Quality Management District said Sunday.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Mon Jan 18 07:35:12 2021 Tags:
Doin' fine.

'When he was shot dead in 1993,, most of the animals were shipped away, but four hippos were left to fend for themselves in a pond.

Although nobody knows exactly how many there are, estimates put the total number between 80 and 100, making them the largest invasive species on the planet. Scientists forecast that the number of hippos will swell to almost 1,500 by 2040. They conclude, that at that point, environmental impacts will be irreversible and numbers impossible to control.

"Nobody likes the idea of shooting a hippo, but we have to accept that no other strategy is going to work," [...]

Environmentalists have been trying to sterilise the hippos for years [...] Male hippos have retractable testes and females' reproductive organs are even harder to find, according to scientists. "We didn't understand the female anatomy," said David Echeverri Lopez, a government environmentalist. "We tried to sterilise females on several occasions and were always unsuccessful."

He is also playing an impossible game of catch-up. Mr Echeverri told The Telegraph that he is able to castrate roughly a hippo per year, whereas scientists estimate that the population grows by 10 percent annually. [...]

"Relocation might have been possible 30 years ago, when there were only four hippos," said Dr Castelblanco-Martínez. "Castration could also have been effective if officials had provided sufficient resources for the programme early on, but a cull is now the only option."

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

Posted Mon Jan 18 02:22:11 2021 Tags:

Planet Debian upstream is hosted by Branchable.