pages tagged xdaliclockPlanet Debian upstreamhttp://updo.debian.net/tags/xdaliclock/Planet Debian upstreamikiwiki2011-11-26T00:11:24ZYou doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane.http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/You_doom_us_all_to_inhuman_toil_for_the_One_whose_Name_cannot_be_expressed_in_the_Basic_Multilingual_Plane__46__/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-26T00:11:24Z2011-11-26T00:11:24Z
<a href="http://stackoverflow.com/questions/1732348/regex-match-open-tags-except-xhtml-self-contained-tags/1732454#1732454">RegEx match open tags except XHTML self-contained tags:</a><p></p><blockquote><p>You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the n​erves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Rege̿̔̉x-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow <i>it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved</i> the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) <i>dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge</i> using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes <i>using rege</i>x as a tool to process HTML establishes a brea<i>ch between this world</i> and the dread realm of c͒ͪo͛ͫrrupt entities (like SGML entities, but <i>more corrupt) a mere glimp</i>se of the world of reg​<b>ex parsers for HTML will ins</b>​tantly transport a p<i>rogrammer's consciousness i</i>nto a w<i>orl</i>d of ceaseless screaming, he comes<strike>, the pestilent sl</strike>ithy regex-infection wil​<b>l devour your HT</b>​ML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse <i>he comes he com</i>es <i>do not fi</i>​ght h<b>e com̡e̶s, ̕h̵i</b>​s un̨ho͞ly radiańcé de<i>stro҉ying all enli̍̈́̂̈́ghtenment, HTML tags <b>lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo​͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liq</b>​uid p</i>ain, the song of re̸gular exp​re<strike>ssion parsing </strike>will exti<i>​nguish the voices of mor​<b>tal man from the sp</b>​here I can see it can you see ̲͚̖͔̙î̩́t̲͎̩̱͔́̋̀ it is beautiful t​</i>he f<code>inal snuf</code>fing o<i>f the lie​<b>s of Man ALL IS LOŚ͖̩͇̗̪̏̈́T A</b></i><b>LL I​S L</b>OST th<i>e pon̷y he come</i>s he c̶̮om<strike>es he co</strike><b><strike>me</strike>s t<i>he</i> ich​</b>or permeat<i>es al</i>l MY FAC<i>E MY FACE ᵒh god n<b>o NO NOO̼</b></i><b>O​O N</b>Θ stop t<i>he an​*̶͑̾̾​̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨ</i>e̠̅s<code> ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e</code> n<b>​ot rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ T</b>O͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘<b>Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚​N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝</b>S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ</p></blockquote>
Let me hear your war cryhttp://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Let_me_hear_your_war_cry/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-25T11:04:55Z2011-11-25T11:04:55Z
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Something about Linux, Time, and Value.http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Something_about_Linux__44___Time__44___and_Value__46__/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-25T11:02:30Z2011-11-23T20:10:46Z
So, the drive in my DirecTivo is going bad. Hangs every few days, "DriveStatusError BadCRC" in the logs. The usual. Good times.<p>The annoying part here is that I just replaced a failing drive back in <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2011/02/tivo-upgrade-questions/">February</a> by buying a pre-formatted replacement drive from <a href="http://www.dvrupgrade.com/dvr/stores/1/tivo-upgrade-purchase.cfm">DVRUpgrade.com</a> -- and the drive they sent me went bad in eight and a half months.</p><p>Turns out they only offered a 6 month warranty, but I mailed them anyway ("Come on, guys, 8 months to failure? Seriously?") Their answer was, <i><strike>"Get fucked."</strike> "See if the drive manufacturer will replace it, send the new one to us, and then we will charge you again to copy a new image onto that drive."</i></p><p>Nice.</p><p>So now I have a decision to make.</p><p><b>Option 1:</b> Borrow someone's linux machine, figure out how to get MFSTools running on it, try to use that to copy the failing drive to a new drive, and pray. (Because apparently Macs can't read Tivo partition maps, so I can't just rsync or dd the fucker.)</p><p><b>Option 2:</b> Just pay these asshats another $300 for a new pre-formatted drive, re-enter all of my season passes, and hope this one lasts longer than eight months.</p><p>I know -- <i><b>I KNOW</b></i> -- that Option 2 is the right thing to do. I know it deep inside the place where good decisions come from. But Option 1 is still so viscerally tempting because it infuriates me to give more money to people who have already ripped me off, even when the amount of money is small enough that it is far outweighed by the amount of hassle that <i>not</i> spending it would cause.</p><p>Computers are stupid and my indignance is trying to sabotage me.</p><p>In related news, I understand that the new HD DirecTivo is still on track for release in mid-2009. Har har har.</p><p>Incidentally, recent investigations show that "just torrent everything" is still a shittier experience than the increasingly-shitty experience provided by SD DirecTivo.
</p><p><b>Update:</b> In case you're curious, I ended up cloning the dying 750gb drive onto a spare 1tb drive I had lying around using <tt>ddrescue</tt> and that seemed to work fine, geometry be damned. So, yay. Without repartitioning it (which I think would require Linux-based indignities) I'm missing 1/4th of the drive, but who cares, I've never filled the thing anyway.
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Jesus Pug Butthttp://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Jesus_Pug_Butt/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-23T07:08:49Z2011-11-23T07:08:49Z
<div align="CENTER"><div><div><a href="http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/jesus_christ_spotted_on_dogs_butt"><b><br />Exhibit A:<br />Jesus Pug Butt</b></a><p><a href="http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/jesus_christ_spotted_on_dogs_butt"><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/nhhlw.jpg" /></a></p></div><div><i>Not to be confused with</i><br /><a href="http://divine-interventions.com/religioustoys.php#babyjesus"><b>Exhibit B:<br />Jesus Butt Plug</b></a><p><a href="http://divine-interventions.com/religioustoys.php#babyjesus"><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/babybluemed.jpg" /></a></p></div></div><p><a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2009/06/today-on-sick-sad-world-squirting-dragon-dildos/">Previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2002/07/dildoes-of-the-animal-kingdom/">previously</a>.</p></div>
Star Wars Burlesque, againhttp://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Star_Wars_Burlesque__44___again/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-22T03:00:08Z2011-11-22T03:00:08Z
<div align="CENTER"><div><div></div></div><p><a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2010/01/star-wars-burlesque/">Previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2005/06/i-for-one-welcome-wait-no-i-dont/">previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2011/01/sexy-ackbar/">previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2010/12/the-slutcracker/">previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2008/12/the-muppets-of-burlesque/">previously</a>.</p></div>
"Where are the cops who walked off the job rather than attack their neighbors drowning in debt and despair?"http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/__34__Where_are_the_cops_who_walked_off_the_job_rather_than_attack_their_neighbors_drowning_in_debt_and_despair__63____34__/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-20T00:04:33Z2011-11-20T00:04:33Z
<a href="http://wonkette.com/456726/a-childrens-treasury-of-american-cops-brutally-attacking-citizens">A Children's Treasury of American Cops Brutally Attacking Citizens</a><p></p><blockquote>How did America's heavily militarized security guards for the 1% spend the work week? Oh, just pepper-spraying sitting students in the face, macing old ladies, stomping peaceful protesters, yanking women around by their ponytails, destroying libraries and bloodying the faces of America's citizens. You know, what they've dreamed of doing for decades.<p>Remember the fat, smug face under that helmet and behind that ridiculous mustache in the picture above. This happened yesterday at UC Davis, a California college in a delightful, sustainable little town between San Francisco and Sacramento -- the kind of place earnest liberals move to, when they have kids, so they can all ride around on the town's famous network of bike paths. It's a well-off town, mostly, and it takes quite a lot of tax money to keep a bunch of vicious thugs overfed and dressed like junior Darth Vaders with their portable hard-ons, on the off-chance some college kids might one day peacefully sit outside to protest this nation's revolting descent.</p><p>One scene, one town. How many of these scenes have slipped by during these very busy weeks of protests and cop attacks? Up the I-5 in Portland, the stereotypical Brooklyn of the Pacific Northwest is apparently home to an absolutely insane paramilitary gang of thugs who cannot contain their glee at finally being able to go batshit on the people of Portland, with truncheons.</p><p>And more, from everywhere, because the kleptocrats told their rent-a-cops to smash heads, put all this to rest, or else. Or else what? In Egypt earlier this year, the cops refused to attack the people. East Germany and then the whole Iron Curtain collapsed when the local cops wouldn't smash heads when Erich Honecker ordered it. What about America? Where are the cops who walked off the job rather than attack their neighbors drowning in debt and despair?</p></blockquote><p></p><div align="CENTER"><a href="http://wonkette.com/456726/a-childrens-treasury-of-american-cops-brutally-attacking-citizens"><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/uc-davis-pepperspray.jpg" /><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/pepper-spray-in-face.jpg" /><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/portland-ows-evil-vader-cops.jpg" /><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/darth-vader-cops-portland.jpg" /></a><div><div></div></div></div>
jwz mixtape 105http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/jwz_mixtape_105/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-19T19:41:04Z2011-11-19T19:41:04Z
<div align="CENTER"> <a href="http://www.dnalounge.com/webcast/mixtapes/"><img src="http://www.dnalounge.com/webcast/vhs.gif" /></a> <p>Please <i>(try to)</i> enjoy <a href="http://www.dnalounge.com/webcast/mixtapes/">jwz mixtape 105</a>. </p><p></p><div><div></div></div> </div> <p>It looks like, again, half of these will not play embedded. I really don't know what to do about it, short of hoping that one of these years Youtube gets their head out of their ass about embedding.</p><p>They tell you "You must watch this on Youtube", and yet the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=078A87E00ACDC196">interface that they provide</a> for watching an entire playlist full of videos is fucking worthless! The "Large Player" button doesn't stick, so it snaps back down to "postage-stamp sized" each time it advances to the next video. "Full screen" mode sticks, but then it commandeers your entire computer and you can't watch the playlist while doing something else at the same time.</p><p>So there are no sane solutions here.</p><p>Thanks a whole fucking lot, Youtube.</p><p>Anyway: I really love the Uffie video -- it's halfway between Gondry's <i>Come Into My World</i> and <i>Let Forever Be</i>. I'm glad that people are still imitating his old stuff, since he hasn't made something worth watching in a decade.</p><p>There are a lot of videos that look like the Niki and the Dove one, and all the corresponding bands sound like that, too. What are they putting in that Scandinavian water? If we imported more Voss, would music and clothing go that way here, too?
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Fear, Racism, Rehab and History: The 25th Anniversary of Run DMC & Aerosmith's "Walk This Way"http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Fear__44___Racism__44___Rehab_and_History:_The_25th_Anniversary_of_Run_DMC___38___Aerosmith__39__s___34__Walk_This_Way__34__/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-18T19:39:38Z2011-11-18T19:39:38Z
<div><div><div></div></div></div><p><a href="http://goldenageofmusicvideo.com/?p=906">The Golden Age of Music Video:</a></p><p></p><blockquote>So, I wrote the idea, they bought it, and then I had to get on this I spoke to Aerosmith's manager, and he said, "Hey, these guys just got out of rehab." (Laughter) "There is just no way you, we can do this in New York because these guys-- these are heavy junkies. You gotta be out of New York." So where do we go? The heroin capital of the world -- Union City, New Jersey. (Laughter) Bad place. So we set up this thing. I find the location, I came up with the set, the design, the whole thing, and we're gonna do it, and I convinced them. I got on the phone with Steven Tyler and explained to him. He only said one thing to me that was important. "Please don't make a fool out of us." He was really not into -- don't forget, he hasn't stepped into the video world yet.<p>I advertised on the radio that Aerosmith would be playing so we could get a crowd, and the black radio station, they made the announcement too, but when we got there at 10 o'clock, there must have been five thousand black people there. There were no white people. That's when I said "Shit, I can't do this with no white people -- it's supposed to be an Aerosmith concert!" Now I'm outside walking around with my assistant director and we could see all these rockers sitting in different cars. There were hundreds of them -- they were just too scared to get out of their cars! (laughs) So, we knocked on the windows, and it took us about two hours to load all these white chicks and guys in the back door so we could fill up the first twenty five rows with white people. Meanwhile, the black guys and girls realized what was going on, so they start pounding the front door eventually breaking through the door, so we had to call the police. So, the police showed up with shotguns, stood on stage and they were trying to close us down. </p></blockquote>
Versabar VB10000http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Versabar_VB10000/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-18T19:22:23Z2011-11-18T19:22:23Z
<p align="CENTER"><a href="http://www.popsci.com/bown/2011/product/versabar-vb10000">Oil-Rig Lifter: This is a thing that exists.</a></p><p></p><div align="CENTER"><a href="http://www.popsci.com/bown/2011/product/versabar-vb10000"><img src="http://www.jwz.org/images/versabarvb10000_versabar.jpg" /></a><p><a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2004/09/i-want-one/">Previously</a>.</p></div>
Wired asks: Why are Occupy not flying their own drones?http://updo.debian.net/feeds/Jamie_Zawinski/Wired_asks:_Why_are_Occupy_not_flying_their_own_drones__63__/Jamie Zawinski2011-11-19T22:41:42Z2011-11-18T19:03:52Z
<p align="CENTER"><a href="http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2011/11/ows-drones/">Occupy the Skies!</a></p><p></p><div align="CENTER"><div><div></div></div></div><p><i>It's too bad the AR.Drone only has a battery life of 10 minutes...</i></p><p> Though I suppose that for this, where you want it staying in pretty much the same place for many hours, you really want a <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2004/09/terror-blimps-are-go/">Terror Blimp</a> instead of a copter.</p><p><a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2011/05/today-in-robosnitch-news/">Previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2010/12/uav-buzzes-statue-of-liberty/">previously</a>, <a href="http://www.jwz.org/blog/2010/10/ardrone-roomba-meets-skynet/">previously</a>.
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